I missed you all!

[chicken]

While I was away in Colorado helping to move my father into an assisted living facility, I didn't log in much. Thus I missed you all very much, and am at skip=???.

I am very depressed about my father's inevitable mortality, but I keep telling myself that an assisted living facility is much better than a nursing home. He likes it there and seems to be improving under their care.

As for me, I am exhausted and now remember why Florida weather is so nice. Colorado is cold, dry, nosebleeds every day, chapped face and hands, generally horrible and miserable. Florida is nice and warm and the perfect level of humidity. Don't let me ever, ever complain about the weather here.

Comments

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

We're worried now that my dad will require *actual* assisted living, instead of just senior apartments where you order up assistance a la carte. It's frustrating, because my mother doesn't want to live like that, but my father might require it.

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

I recommend you talk to your mother more about what to expect, and visit several options. Some assisted living places are "she doesn't want to live like that" -- some of them do sort of fulfill those stereotypes. My sister visited a couple like that, where the staff treats you more like you are in a nursing home. But the one she chose in the end for our father really emphasizes your independence. You are there so if you need help, you can get it, but you are not a prisoner -- my dad still drives on his own, can go out to meals with friends, can come home at whatever hour he wants to. But yet the staff does all know his name, help him get his prescriptions, etc. So it's a great balance.

It's about size. The bigger places are more "institutional" in a bad way, whereas the place my dad went is smaller, like only 100-200 residents.

This is the place: http://www.healthinfosource.com/providers/viewProgram.cgi?programID=1599

Obviously it may be a bit different in Arizona, but I guess the bottom line is you have to do your research, and make sure your mom knows they are not all the same, and she always has a choice, and if she doesn't like it or they aren't properly helping out your dad, they have the power and agency to move to a different one.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[keever.livejournal.com]

Assisted living is definitely better than a nursing home, and that your father seems to be responding well to being there is a good sign. Still, of course it's hard, and I echo the hugs above. Glad you're back to happier weather.

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

How is it going with the unpacking?

[keever.livejournal.com]

At the moment, it's not going at all, unfortunately. We've both been felled by horrible colds. Send some of that Florida OJ our way!

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

I had one of those colds, too. It's very hard to maintain any life momentum at all when you are sick. Get well soon!

[keever.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your father! It is sad to see our parent decline in health. My mom has had some bad times this year too. I hope your dad will really improve in the new place and be very happy there.

As we agreed in my own journal, east, west, home is best, yeah? *flings arms around whole house in a big hug*

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much again.

I just talked to him again today and apparently his biggest pet peeve has been resolved. They were making him hobble/walk all the way from his room to his car via the main door, claiming there was no other way, that all the other doors were alarmed. But then today they let him "cut through" the employee entrance, so that saved him 45 steps. Every step is painful, and he is an obsessive counter anyway, but he is really into his independence, too, so this was a great solution.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

It's a good thing that they finally were flexible. What a hard thing it is to imagine being constrained like that and losing so much independence. We all hope that the managements of these places have understanding and compassion so they can make the right call in situations just like this one of your dad's.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

I loved the dryness of Colorado when I was there, but maybe it was because I only lived there in the summer. It didn't get as hot for as long as in Virginia, and 102 degrees is actually tolerable in a semi-arid climate, as long as you've got loose clothing, lots of sunscreen and a hat and you keep drinking water. I could live with the nosebleeds.

Whereas in Virginia, 85 degrees with 95 percent humidity and stinky smoggy air could sap my will to live, and that happened a lot. I've never been to Florida but I always imagined it as a suffocating hellhole of damp heat.

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

Virginia, or worse, Chicago, has a sleezy humidity that I can only chalk up to pollution. I've spent a lot of time in Virginia and I know what you mean.

I actually love Florida's humidity because it's very clean. The air here is never dirty. It may be dirty and urban and polluted down in Miami, but I've never been down there. That's like a whole other state and much hotter. Central Florida is very clean-aired and therefore the humidity is wonderful, like a spa.

The most squalid, horrifying humidity I ever had to deal with was in Shanghai. Again, the worst of it was the urban dirt -- the 11 million people (more now), the expectorating in the street, the sheer filth just made the humidity utterly unbearable.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

It gets pretty bad in Massachusetts too, but the really hot period is relatively short compared to Virginia, where in a bad year it can last from May into the beginning of October. And when I was at William and Mary, not all of the dorms had air conditioning.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

...Oh, yeah, and some days the campus was downwind from the paper mill.

[tannymonster.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope that it does turn out to be better :)

[chicken-cem.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.